Being thankful for today

This morning for my devotions I was reading through Ecclesiastes. It can be quite the depressing book unless you read through the end. I was reading how that you work your whole life to accumulate wealth only to leave it to someone else and who knows whether that person will be wise or foolish. I read "There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the sun. I began to get very emmotional (I place that I commonly find myself these days) and began to contemplate this life we live. What if Michael isn't able to be here for the birth of our first child, will I be able to withstand a miscarriage, what if I go to my next appointment and something is wrong, what if I am not a good mother, what kind of future will my child have in this world that seems to be spiraling out of control ...what if...what if...what if?

I am just over 8 weeks pregnant. I have longed to be in this place and yet rather than relishing in the blessing that God has given me for this moment I find myself looking so far ahead. There are many changes on the horizon, not the least of which is the child we are expecting. I look ahead with wonder, confusion, despair, joy, sorrow, anxiousness but in the midst of those emotions knowing that God is in control of it all. He each breath knew I would take before I was ever even thought of. What a comforting thought. It is such a challenge to me to sit and be still. To, as the writer of Ecclesiastes puts it, enjoy the sun and the moon, to be happy as a young person and live life as the blessing that it is. So often I am robbed of the joy of today because of things that are far outside of my grasp. So for today, I am going to attempt to relish this time. To be still and to see the beauty that each day holds and not glance to the future but fix my gaze on what I have been given today.